Telegraph | News | How to avoid a marriage disaster, by the Pentagon

Telegraph | News | How to avoid a marriage disaster, by the Pentagon
How to avoid a marriage disaster, by the Pentagon
By Francis Harris in Washington
(Filed: 08/02/2006)

Stung by a soaring divorce rate among the American military, the Pentagon has launched a scheme called "How to avoid marrying a jerk".


Run by the military chaplain's office, the scheme is seeking to slow a fast-rising tide of divorces as America's battle-tested legions serve ever longer tours overseas.

"There is a deep concern and some significant resources aimed at helping families survive," said Lt Col Peter Frederich, of the Pentagon's chaplain office.

The programme being taught at 250 military bases around the country is packed with the acronyms beloved by Americans.

Soldiers are advised to Pick (Premarital Interpersonal Choices and Knowledge) a partner and to study a potential spouse's Faces, or Family experiences, Attitudes, Compatibility, Examples in previous relationships and Skills.

There is even a Ram (relationship attachment model) chart, which is designed to calm those driven into marriage by sexual over-enthusiasm.

The course is designed to make young soldiers ask questions about potential partners and try to assess whether they would be able to cope with the strains of military life.

The issue has become extremely serious for America's military planners and the families that have been left wrecked by marital break-up.

Divorce rates have rocketed since the September 11 suicide attacks, which sent American units on long combat deployments across the globe. There were more than 10,000 divorces last year in the 500,000-strong army. That accounted for 3.5 per cent of other ranks and six per cent of officers, a tripling of the rate in 2001.

With the country's leaders rebranding the war against terrorism as the Long War, the pressure on military families is unlikely to abate.

The Pentagon acknowledges that the strain on family life is especially severe. "The stresses are extreme in the officer corps, especially when we're at war, and officers have an overwhelming responsibility to take care of their soldiers as well as the soldiers' families," Col Pamela Hart told USA Today.

The Pick programme was devised by John Van Epp, a civilian counsellor, who said: "Too many people simply do not know what to look for when dating. Too many people simply do not know how to keep a dating relationship in balance."

The problems for the military have become stark. Some soldiers are returning home with serious physical impairments, while others suffer mental anguish. Advisers say that would test even a well-grounded marriage, and not all unions are that strong.

The latest defence department budget proposes spending around $5.5 billion (£3 billion) on support services to soldiers and their families. That includes the cost of child care, counselling and job hunting for military spouses.

Support for the family has been reinforced by the military's decision to bar all contact between servicemen and prostitutes. America's servicemen have been told that they face court martial for the offence.